Digestive Pyrotechnics: bollywood

Showing posts with label bollywood. Show all posts

Teleportation

Teleportation - is a term that refers to a number of theories and notions concerning the transfer of matter from one point to another without traversing through the physical space between them.

And now how did this phenomenon come into existence?? People over centuries have come up with various theories and there have been active debates between various scientists, scholars, sages, tantric voodoo practitioners around the world questioning the very possibility of the phenomenon.. And then there are general people who have witnessed this in the movies or in video games and think "Woah - this is cool".. But the simple truth is just that it's a daily occurrence in one of the most happening cities in India.. Hmm.. Still not getting it.. Now let's try answering this question - Which Indian city is otherwise known as the city - "which never sleeps"?? If you didn't guess this, then you can stop reading right here and find a metal pipe and point your temple towards it and do a vertical 100 meter fall.. Even then, here's a clue: This city boasts of the power of vada paav which enhanced Bhappi Lahari's vocal abilities by expanding and aligning his neck to his waist size and currently measures up to n! (where n is infinity)- And now coming back to the actual phenomenon - Let's answer another question - This celebrated city has the most prided form of transportation in the whole world? - This one's easy and yes it's indeed the freaking local trains. Millions of people are quiet oblivious to the fact that they are indeed the source behind one of the most mind-boggling theories of all times - 'teleporting'. Here's a picture that says it all -

And well this is what happens when the teleportation just goes wrong..

- Bumble Bee

Bolly"Wood"

Many concerned Indian patriots had taken it to their film makers that India doesn't produce any good Adult Films. Where is our country going? No one seems to care! Every other country is producing good quality stuff and Indians are left with nothing more than look-alikes of Cousin Itt & Jabba The Hutt making out to a camera in bad light. We must show the world that not only are we good at making babies using 62,834 positions (and yet keeping the topic taboo) but we can also make films about them and give it the family movie genre.

Film makers saw the point at once! They decided to take up new projects and have shortlisted the following titles:

- Sore Lay (hardcore)

- Hum Aapke Hai Porn (informative documentary on making adult films, feat. hit single dicktana)

- Sub Kuch Hota Hai (inter-racial, feat. hit single "ladki badi horney hai" )

- R.G.Verma Ki Aag (gay)

- Oh Shanti... Ooh! (amature couple, feat. hit track "bukkake disco")

- Booby (calendar girls)

- Lage Raho Munni-bhabhi (marathon)

- Dildo Paagal Hai (lesbian)

- Dilwale's Dulhaniya Laid (bride fetish)

- Maine Kiya! (first time)

- Ram's Biwi Ganga.. Meri (cheating spouse)

- Saare Zameen Par (group orgy)

- Jab Jab Phool Khile (amature teens)

- Anmol body (calendar girls)

- Haathi Mera Saathi (beastiality)

- Kabhi Sri-Sri Kabhi Fun (taboo)

- Rand De Basanti (informative documentary on "how to bargain with a pimp")

- Kaho Naa Tyre Hai (fat fetish)

- Kabhi Hole-Without Na Karna (informative documentary on "how to end your celibate life")

- Kal Whore Na Ho (informative documentary on "how to lead a celibate life")

- Maare Tu Ya Maare Na (bondage)

- No Entry (softcore)

Indians have yet again shown their unity in diversity.

- humble me

Love Triangles of Bollywood

Bollywood has had love triangles forever. We have seen many standard one girl - two boys. And of the two boys, the not loved one either gets a new heroine in the end or ... to keep matters simple, just dies in the end and every one else lives happily ever after. Here is a look at some of the more interesting love triangles that Bollywood has offered.