Teleportation

Teleportation - is a term that refers to a number of theories and notions concerning the transfer of matter from one point to another without traversing through the physical space between them.

And now how did this phenomenon come into existence?? People over centuries have come up with various theories and there have been active debates between various scientists, scholars, sages, tantric voodoo practitioners around the world questioning the very possibility of the phenomenon.. And then there are general people who have witnessed this in the movies or in video games and think "Woah - this is cool".. But the simple truth is just that it's a daily occurrence in one of the most happening cities in India.. Hmm..  Still not getting it.. Now let's try answering this question - Which Indian city is otherwise known as the city - "which never sleeps"?? If you didn't guess this, then you can stop reading right here and find a metal pipe and point your temple towards it and do a vertical 100 meter fall.. Even then, here's a clue: This city boasts of the power of vada paav which enhanced Bhappi Lahari's vocal abilities by expanding and aligning his neck to his waist size and currently measures up to n! (where n is infinity)- And now coming back to the actual phenomenon - Let's answer another question - This celebrated city has the most prided form of transportation in the whole world? - This one's easy and yes it's indeed the freaking local trains. Millions of people are quiet oblivious to the fact that they are indeed the source behind one of the most mind-boggling theories of all times - 'teleporting'. Here's a picture that says it all - 

And well this is what happens when the teleportation just goes wrong..  

- Bumble Bee

Tripping... Tumbling...

Every one knows what it is to trip...

Everyone has tripped and tumbled many a times in their lives.

Everyone’s even laughed at someone else tripping and falling... well some people are funny when they trip and fall... you can't help but laugh... they’ve been created in a way to look funny when they fall. So its okay if you also were one of those people who secretly laughed at a fat person tripping on his shoe lace first, then on a banana peel and dived down a flight of stairs and broke his fall on a slab of reinforced titanium. Santa will still give you your present unless he was that fat person.

Typically humans trip a lot... being you know.. bi-ped and all...

Sometimes we can even see 4 legged animals tripping..

If you tried really hard.. you can even imagine a tyrannosaurus rex trip and fall…
 

 

But what on earth made this thing trip??

- humble me

(other fun observations include:
 - the biker who's got the expression you would have when a fly sits on you... and not an auto.
 - the dude on the right celebrating the activity with a dance and hand clap)

The Abomination

The following situation is both applicable to dance classes or aerobics sessions.

Many of us have been to the gym, taken up a membership .. felt good about our decision to lead a healthy life. And then the next day overslept .. lost the inertia for gymming all together and ended up feeling guilty and acquired a drinking habit as a result.

If one of such attempts involved an aerobics class or a dance class (when I say dance class, I mean group choreography, not Salsa/Jive) .. you must have encountered the Abomination.

Its easy to spot the Abomination, it will be a large person. (Of course if you're in an aerobics class that has all fit hot bodies bouncing it.. you're probably on the sets of a porn flick and you're not needed .. so take the exit)

What is an Abomination you ask?

An Abomination is that large person in the aerobics/dance class who is gifted with the following amazing skills:

 1) The gift of "all space was created for me to occupy". If there is a nice staggered formation in the session, the Abomination will most definitely choose to stand at a spot which would cause so much chaos, no butterflies would ever flap their wings. The position of choice would also eclipse the instructor from the remaining people in the class/world.

2) The gift of "all weight must be lost today". If there is a step that involves moving one foot to the right and one to the left, the Abomination will move to the right, wreck through the walls of the dance studio, plough through houses and schools on the right and then through the slums, offices and restaurants on the left. To get a sense of the variation in movement between the Abomination and the other people in class check below:

3) The gift of "all the toes' a stage". If you're fat and have not seen your toes for ages, you will be rudely reminded that your toes do exist and that they have blood vessels and nerve endings too! The Abomination will make sure to systematically step on everyone's toe during each cycle of a step. So if you think you're hearing people eating chips as they dance, you're mostly wrong and will soon need a doctor.

4) The gift of "beat me if you can". Its well known that the mass of a body causes gravitational pull on smaller masses around, and that the movement of the larger mass causes the smaller mass to follow. Though this is the science regarding matter, scientists have been able to confirm that this is not the case when it comes to rhythm. The rhythm of a music piece will not really give a f@$k about anyone and will continue to hold its pace. The Abomination is always completely unaware of this piece of scientific info. Expecting to see rhythm sense in an Abomination is like expecting to see a male t-rex's sex organ on a female sea-horse. The Abomination will always move flawlessly mis-coordinated with the beat that's playing. . Anyone else who gets a glimpse of this can encounter a catastrophic death. This is usually because the left half of the observer's brain will disagree with the right and both halves will then decide to enter the food stream and eventually be excreted. You'll be left embarrassed and dead at the same time.

Remember, the Abomination will combine and use all these skills at once. So hopefully you can use this info to locate the Abominations in your aerobics/dance classes before its too late for you.

- humble me.

Patience

One day in Kerala...

Key (Malayalam):
Avada = "over there"
Potta  = "blind person"


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A Breathtaking Moment

Every once in a while, in your everyday boring life, there comes a moment which makes you stop. It makes you stop doing everything your doing, stops you from giving a damn about anything you give a damn about. It flips every switch in your brain to standby. There is something so captivating about what you see that you just can't think about anything else other than pulling out your camera to capture that moment forever! To convert the visual into digital memory of pure awesomeness you can cherish for ever and ever.

The big question however is ... what the f*ck was it that this fellow was capturing???

- humble me

Su Song

yo boys i am singing song

su! song

flop song

why this fellow very fellow very dim

why this fellow very fellow very stink
rhythm correct

why this fellow very fellow very dim
maintain please

why this fellow very.....stink!

distance la Su-u boy-u 

boy-u  color-u  black-u

boy-u background night-u nigth-u

boy-u out of sight-u

why this fellow very fellow very dim

why this fellow very fellow very stink

white skin-u girl-u girl-u

girl-u smell-u nice-u

girl-u nose-u meet-u boy-u

girl-u puke-u death-u

why this fellow very fellow very stink

why this fellow very fellow very dim

maama notes eduthuko

apdiye kaila scent eduthuko
pa pa press pa pa press pa pa paa pa pa press
sariya poosi

super maama ready

ready 1 2 3 4

whaa wat a change over maama

ok maama perfume change-u

kaila grass-u

only english.. 

hand la grass-u

hair la scratch-u

body smell like beer-u

empty head-u

girl-u run-u

in-u vomit fear-u
 

smell-u smell-u
oh my smell-u

perfume can not null-u

cow-u cow-u holy cow-u

she wants the cow more-u

god i m kissing now-u

she is dead how-u?

this song for Su boys-u

dont we have nose-u?

why this fellow very fellow very dim

why this fellow very fellow very stink

why this fellow very fellow very dim

why this fellow very fellow very stink

flop song


- Irumam, Chennai

My name is ...

One evening,

- humble me